batman's dad

I figured it would be appropriate to begin my blogging adventures with a shout out to Batman's dad [hereafter referred to as "BD"]. For those who knew me before I met BD, you know that I may be a "difficult" person to love: I am neurotic, I don't like failure, I like things in their places, and I absolutely must have a plan [read: I really like to know what's going on at all times].

When I found out I was pregnant, I quickly learned that things don't always go according to plan. For example, I have learned that no matter how much I willed myself to not feel nauseous, it didn't matter. And, surprisingly, my insistence that things belong in a certain place fell by the wayside. For almost 33 weeks, I have been on a giant learning curve that has been very humbling. I know that this is only a taste of what being a parent will be like. Luckily, BD has been ready and willing to embrace parenthood with open arms. Even when his sidekick has been less than excited. It should come as no surprise that I am completely worried that I will fail. Well, Batman's dad has tried to prove to me how not scary parenthood will be. Below are several examples of BD's stabs at preparing for parenthood:

[1] Shortly after our friends at LittleMissDoodle had their baby girl, LMD's father was sharing some details of their hospital stay with me. I was anxious to share these details with BD, particularly the one about the nourishment room for the fathers. I learned that while we were in the hospital after Batman makes his appearance, BD would have access to all sort of snacks, like bagels and chips. I, for one, was very worried that BD would be distracted due to a lack of food. So distracted, in fact, that the cherished moment of Batman's arrival would be lost due to starvation. When I got home, I quickly shared what I learned from LMD's parents:

me: Boo, did you know that there is this snack room for dads at the hospital? Now we don't have to worry about both surviving on hospital food! They bring in fresh bagels and fruit each day!

bd: [somewhat less enthused] ehhh. I guess that sounds good. But you know what I could do?

me: [apprehensive, but trying to sound encouraging] what is that babe?

bd: I HAVE CAMPING EQUIPMENT! I can just bring it with me and I can cook us whatever we want!

me: [is this guy serious?! I have to PUSH a baby OUT OF MY BODY and then we are in charge of its basic survival! we have to pick a school! we have to pick diapers! we have to teach him how to be a good friend! and we have to pick a 529 savings plan!] um...babe, I'm not sure about that.

bd: yeah. there may be fire codes and stuff.

[2] BD is a pretty handy guy. Because we are in our first home and expecting our first child, we have a couple of big improvements we plan to make to our house before THE BIG DAY in August. I think this is BD's version of nesting. Currently, we are having our half bathroom converted to a full bathroom. Since the construction began, I have noticed that the shower drain in our already established full bathroom is draining slower. I mention this to the expectant father...

me: Boo. Have you noticed that our shower is draining slower?

bd: Yeah. I have

me: You think that's because we're getting another shower drain? Like maybe the pipes are tied together and, as a result the draining capacity is lessened? [I'm very proud of this thought process, like I actually thought 'hmm, I think I just used a little physics there.']

bd: Not at all. One has nothing to do with the other.

me: oh. well...

some time elapses and I choose to take a shower, where I once again notice the slow-draining water.

me: Booooeeey. The shower isn't draining again. This is gross.

bd: [no response.]

All of the sudden, a plunger comes from behind the shower curtain and a random arm begins plunging the drain. In the shower with standing water that I am currently in. whilst I'm still in it. the standing water now has chunks of who-knows-what in it.

me: Boo! no! that is GROSS!

bd: Babe! Chill out! You're already dirty!

me: But I am not chunky dirty! Ugh.

With that, I escape the shower, rinse my hair and wash my face in the sink, brush my teeth, and decide to attempt another shower the following morning. In the meantime, BD is running in and out of the bedroom, giving me the play-by-play of his handyman attempts at plumbing. Approximately one hour later, BD reports back with a more detailed version of how he has saved our lives, our child's life, and the world by removing a massive clog from our pipes.

[3] Finally, as Batman's due date approaches, the anxious thoughts that have been with me from day 1 have started to show up with BD. I take comfort in this. It makes me feel normal. However, as early August approaches, I realize that I will most likely become c-r-a-z-y with anticipation. So, I'm trying to think of things that I can do to keep my mind occupied. In particular, there is a three-day concert in Louisville that begins July 23. I would absolutely be at this concert [with tickets purchased and hotel room booked] if I weren't pregnant. But, given my current state, I'm playing it by ear until July 23 to see if it is even a realistic idea. BD had different thoughts when I mentioned the idea to him:

me: Hey Boo, doesn't that concert in Louisville sound fun?! So many bands are going to be there.

bd: When is it?

me: Well...it starts on July 23.

bd: Are you kidding me?!

me: [how sweet! he's super worried about how I'll feel!] what do you mean?

bd: What if we're jumping around [like this is how we are at concerts anyway.] and your water breaks and then I fall and crack my head and then we have to drive back to Cincinnati and I have to call 911 and they have to tell me how to deliver my baby in the car?!

me: well, there's THAT scenario.

I am so happy that I have BD in my life. Batman is super lucky to have this guy for his daddy. In addition to his very devoted attempts at preparing for parenthood, he provides me with many chuckles. And, most importantly, he's teaching me that while the best laid plans often go awry, we'll still be okay.