the thing about babies...

Before Batman entered the picture, I was familiar with babies. I held brand new babies and I babysat for my fair share of children.

BUT, it is an ENTIRELY new learning experience to have a baby of my own.

Here's a short list of things I have learned about babies since August 10:

1. It really doesn't matter what their name is. BD and I had Batman's real name [Bruce Wayne, duh] picked out for a while before he arrived. I thought I would feel this release when we finally said his name out loud: "Wyatt James." Like, I could finally share this secret. However, the great reveal felt very low key. I absolutely love his name, but I quickly learned that he could, literally, be named Batman and that would not change the amount of love I have for this child.

2. My concept of time is all out of sorts. Much of my waking hours are spent staring at a small child who may or may not be able to see me [depending on where I am in relation to where he is]. I will not, at this time, comment on my sleeping hours, as they are relatively nonexistent. If asked to share what I have been doing on my maternity leave, I do not have the laundry list of completed tasks that I expected to have at this point. What's scary is that I don't care. And it's not the "I-don't-care-but-I-really-do-but-I'm-saying-I-don't-as-a-defense-mechanism," I literally don't care. There are more important things than organizing all of my photos and coming up with a decoration scheme for our guest bedroom. My fascination with piddling has lost all of its zest.

3. The whole couple-becoming-parents phenomenon was one thing I was terrified of. Not of becoming a parent, but losing the "coupleness" between me and BD. I thought I would feel compelled to have nightly conversations in which BD and I share our feelings about being new parents and still being husband and wife. I bet you're shocked to read that those particular conversations aren't happening. It's almost like, in addition to coming home with a brand new human, we also came home with this pact that we were going to do what we can do to make sure this little guy is okay. The pettiness, the detailed conversations about feelings and tones of voice, the dynamics of our fighting don't feel as significant any more.

4. I wouldn't consider myself a blatantly vain person, but I am very aware of how I look. To clarify, it was my habit to alternate my work clothes around brown or black shoes. If I wore something that called for brown shoes one day, the next day, I would plan my outfit around black shoes. If my hair was half way up on Monday, on Tuesday it would be completely down. If it was straight on Wednesday, I would wear it curly on Thursday. For a while, I was very religious about changing my toe nail polish at least every two weeks. If I wore a certain pair of earrings when I met this particular friend out for drinks, I would not wear the same pair when I saw that same friend again. I am pretty sure that is the definition of neurotic, but I digress. Today, on a brief outing [thanks to my mom :)], I made it to the library, Kroger, and the parking lot of CVS before I processed that I had no idea what I looked like. In fact, at that particular moment, I remembered that I had a headband on before leaving the house, but I didn't feel it on my head now. Don't worry, it was still there, just halfway back on my head, serving no purpose except to make me look disheveled. This was supported by the rest of my ensemble that had a combination of brown and black color schemes and chipped toe nail polish. The thing is, I wasn't even bothered. I tugged the headband back on into its proper location and went on about my shopping.

5. I like to cook and bake and I absolutely love to host. Mostly, I like to be in charge. Since Batman, I have thrown caution to the wind, and will very willingly open my less-than-pristine home and kitchen to whoever wants to visit and provide nourishment. It. is. delightful. BD and I are incredibly lucky. I never would have predicted that letting go feels so good.

I am sure this list will continue to grow, as we are only at day 20. I'll keep you posted.