a little Monday humor.

I heard one time that communication over money is the leading cause of divorce in America.  I am sure my oh-so-reliable source [a top 40 radio host] was probably alluding to couples where one person spends absurd amounts of money on dumb things like strippers and as-seen-on-TV specials.  Regardless, I tucked this piece of information back into the crevices of my mind [where you will also find all of the lyrics to Ludacris' "What's Your Fantasy," any word-for-word arguments I have had with my mother, brother, and husband, as well as all of the times I beat my best friend in holding-my-breath-under-water contests].  I continue to reference this nugget of knowledge whenever I check my credit card and checking account balances. Daily.

These past few weeks have been particularly hectic in our financial world as Christmas bills, tuition payments, and a life-threatening cell phone change [helllooo we needed iPhones] have come calling.  I will admit that I am a little stressed and I may be more than slightly harsh on my better I mean other half  (let's just go with) husband.

Case in point, please reference three all-too-recent text conversations below:
[me]: What did you buy for $12.95 from California on Saturday, January 14 at approximately 4.51 pm with our debit card?
[husband]: Huh? nothing.
[me]: Well nothing would have cost nothing and you obviously purchased something.  It was from your card.
[husband]: crickets.  silence.  for approximately 12 hours until I see him in person.  I canceled that subscription.
[me]: Subscription?  For...?
[husband]:  This technology site.  I've seen it a bunch of times when I was googling answers for school.  I forgot about it.
*********

[me]: WHY are we subscribed to Amazon Prime? 
[husband]: Huh? I didn't do it.
[me]: Did you subscribe to Amazon Prime perhaps when you ordered my birthday gift?
[husband]: Hmmm. silence.  Oh yeah.  Maybe I did.
[me]:  the texting equivalent of crossing my arms and tapping my foot as if to suggest impatience...thinking you wouldn't have needed the two-day free shipping if you were maybe just a little more planful with your time.
[husband]: it's canceled.  I totally remember doing it.  I just forgot to cancel it.  HaHA.
*********

[me]: What is this "Hey Ice Cream Man!"?
[estranged spouse]: There was a food truck outside the bar.  I bought Brian and myself a waffle.
[me]:  I'm going to name my ulcer after you.
[estranged spouse]: They were big Belgian waffles.