Lost: my mind.

I have had the strangest couple of days!  In the span of 48 hours, I managed to lose my phone.  And. my. coupon. organizer.  I am seriously distraught. 

I'll be the first to admit that I have a sordid past with cellular devices.  My relationship typically lasts a year and then for whatever reason [say, a new front door], I end up breaking my phone.  I have never misplaced my phone.  Okay maybe one time I did drop it in the toilet, but it never left my sight.  So the fact that I actually have no recollection of where on earth my phone could be puzzles me for a number of reasons.  I mean, our relationship is still relatively new.  And I've gone through great lengths to protect my investment. 

Add to this the sad realization I had last night when I could not locate my coupon organizer.  Now this, folks, is a big effing deal.  I may be more upset about this than my phone.  What you need to know is that this coupon organizer literally stops traffic, as fellow grocery shoppers admire our system.  We have our current grocery store runs down to a science, thanks to this organizer.  And, yes, I did call the grocery last night to see if anyone turned it in.  Have I called anyone looking for my phone?  NOPE.  But I am seriously considering placing a lost-and-found ad for my coupon organizer.  And, don't even get me started on the amount of money that is lost in the coupons being held in my precious organizer.  Sure, this is probably a fraction of the cost of my phone.  But still.

I have a few theories as to the whereabouts of these life-dependent material items:
[1] I could potentially be the culprit.  This is unlikely.
[2] My dear, sweet, darling boy.  Though, if he managed to misplace [read: hide in a very intentional way] both of these items, he's a genius.
[3] The hole in our carport in which a raccoon currently resides.  I've had visions of this raccoon sitting in the dark on Twitter.  Instagramming the ish out of his cute little one.  And more recently, thumbing through my arranged-by-aisle coupon organizer.  We've had a few stare offs as I have attempted to look down into his hiding spot, but he wins every time.
[4] The most obvious person to blame is my husband.  Though he frequently reminds me of an absent-minded, frazzled, old lady librarian, I am sure he is at fault in some way.  To his credit, he has torn apart our house and both of our cars searching for my phone.  He isn't as upset about the coupon organizer, which is how I know he is to blame.  Late into the evening last night, I theorized that he has created this entire debacle to keep my outside communication to a minimum because he is obviously planning a gigantic Mother's day surprise for me that involves a destination vacation. 

At any rate, I hope to recover these items soon.  Definitely in time for my weekly grocery trip and/or my oh-so-obvious all inclusive beachside getaway.